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Well it's a new year and I have noticed that I need to finish last years blog on my daughters IDAHO Day experience. But before I do I thought I would share with you what happened on a 'family' outing to Victor Harbor during the school hols.


Three same-sex families went to lunch at the Victor hotel....three sets of mummies with three kids between us aged 18 months, 5 years and 6 years, Riley being the oldest. There was a playroom and Riley got chatting to some slightly older girls (maybe 8 and 9 years) and excitedly told them at the table were all mummies two of which were hers. Blanks stares ensued followed by rationalisation....one must be your step-mum.


Several days later (kids process these things over days and sometimes weeks) Riley told us she wished she had a 'normal' family and went on to explain to her Mama (non-birth mum) that she must be the step-mum. We talked at length about what the term 'step' means and how her Mama is not a 'step' but was the one who planted the seed (home DIY) to create Riley.


As she gets older and more independent I can see more conversations like this although I hope with each 'chat' we are slowly building her resilience and understanding that her family IS normal....it's just different...and that, I think anyway, is a good thing!

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Comment by Sonja Vivienne on February 2, 2012 at 20:16

Thanks for this story Sophie! Yep, kids have the best 'no strings attached' rationale as they work out where they fit in the world... my 3 year old recently asked out of the blue 'Is Grampy my Daddy?'.

Before I get further into it I should add that my Mum and Dad live in a separate house attached to ours and that my son sees his donor (Marc) regularly and knows him either simply by his name or as 'donor-dad'.

Anyway, after I recovered from suppressed giggles I said 'No Grampy is MY dad, he's YOUR grand-dad'. Unphased son replies 'But my friends at childcare have daddies... I need a daddy too!'. I said, 'Well you've got Marc, he's your donor-dad'. He looked placated (I think, in retrospect 'donor-dadDEE' might have made him happier... but, in any case, at this point my daughter interjected with 'I just tell people Marc's our friend or Ari's babysitter... I know that's not right, but it's just too complicated and they get confused...'

So much for me to process, let alone them... thank goodness we're all happy and secure in our love for one another, regardless of how we have to explain it to the rest of the world.

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