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Another gay marriage rally on Saturday. I remember the last one, the memories are not pleasant.
We have been attending the gay marriage rallies regularly of late. Sometimes our 6 year old daughter is with us and sometimes not. When she has not been at the rallies it has not been a conscious choice on our part more like a clash of social schedules (e.g. play dates, daddy days). But after what happened at the last rally I find myself unsure of whether to bring her along on Saturday.
A big part of me does not want her exposed to that sort of hate and violence. I can imagine it will be scary and confronting for us let alone a 6 year old.
Another chunk of me wonders whether shielding her from that is the right thing to do. We are blessed to live in a supportive environment. People don't hurl abuse at us, we aren't shunned or pointed at in the streets but we know that it is not like that for all people in all places. That's part of the reason we attend the rallies, to point that out and to fight for people who are unable to.
I'd love to tell you I have reached a decision but I haven't. Thoughts of fellow parents would be most welcome at this point!
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I was so horrified last time that I couldn't bear to be there. And I've been at rallies where there's violence and opposition; (AIDEX) I've been arrested at rallies (Nurrungar). I don't think I'm just older and more cynical. I am no more sensitive than I used to be. I think what Bronwen has touched on - the element of surprise attack, which the Street Preachers used with great effect last time is what shook me up most. The rally turned in moments from something positive to something very sad and scary.
They won't have that element of surprise this time. I worry that some activists may be fired up ready to counter-attack, if the Street Preachers appear, and I too am sorry I haven't taken it upon myself to try and organise some non-violent direct action workshops to assist activists in practising and being ready to use NVDA in situations like that. I hope that there may be some positive direction from the Equal Love organisers around NVDA and staying strong and safe.
I'm feeling more and more like I want to be at the rally this time, particularly in light of the Penny Wong and Sophie Allouache (sp?!) announcement, and the omission of our marriage unions from the Census.
There's not much the Street Preachers can do to spoil things for us this time - not that I wish to in any way minimise what happened at the last one - and if they rock up, it can only mean more publicity for our cause. I'd like to be part of that public face, and may think about painting a sign to take this time. That way I'll feel more like I have a voice that I can use.
Hey Sonja,
Thanks for your input. It would have been easier if the decision was out of our hands too! We have an added complexity in that there will be a number of Jo's students from Unley High attending as part of their Gay/Straight Alliance activities. We feel we need to be there to support them as well and a few of them will be speaking at the rally.
I'm leaning towards going with Riley and watching from across the street to see whether any of the street preachers show up. If they do she will see a bit of the problems first hand but from a safe distance.
Soph
Hi Sophie
I strongly relate to where you're at... fortunately (in a way) we have other commitments so the decision this time is out of my hands. A while back 'Equal Love' got in touch and asked me to speak at this (forthcoming) rally and suggested my daughter might also say a few words. I pondered whether that would be cathartic for her... and whether, having put her 'out there' by making a story about the experience of the last rally ('Marriage is So Gay!'), I was being hypocritical or inconsistent by wanting to shield her from further 'exposure'.
In the end I thought about it from her point of view - I think at the moment she'd just find it embarrassing and a bit nerve wracking (as would I, doing same). She's proud of us as a family and has continued to try and make us visible to the people whose opinions she values at school... but it's not fun, being an activist... and risking copping the kind of abusive ill-will we all experienced last time.
I interviewed Jacqui Tomlins recently and she had an inspiring perspective to share... (something like) "I've been so lucky in my experience of being gay, finding love, making a family... and I recognise how privileged that makes me. I'm white, middle class, well educated... if I can't put myself out there to speak up for the cause who else can I expect to do it for me?" You might like to check out her excellent blog and schoolyard/neighbourhood campaign in Victoria here.
Meanwhile I'll alert the wider RFT community to your post in the hope that others may share their rationales behind deciding 'To rally or not to rally'... I'm skipping this one but have promised myself I'll pursue further MP appointments and online activism... and will commit to physically making it to the next one! I look forward to the day when I'll be free to rally on one of the other many less personal causes I believe in ; )
Sonja
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