Comments - A conversation - Rainbow Family Tree2024-03-29T11:25:55Zhttp://rainbowfamilytree.com/profiles/comment/feed?attachedTo=3740708%3ABlogPost%3A6203&xn_auth=noThanks for your comments Meli…tag:rainbowfamilytree.com,2011-05-18:3740708:Comment:67072011-05-18T12:39:37.018ZAndre Stoffelshttp://rainbowfamilytree.com/profile/AndreStoffels
<p>Thanks for your comments Melina and Sophie. I almost wish we could get together and have a great discussion about all of this. It is such a good way to learn. To continue this conversation, may I add a few more of my thoughts in reponse to those you have offered.</p>
<p>Like you Melina I am not a Christian. I identify as an athiest. I'm happy for people to have their beliefs if that is of value to them and in many of the world's sacred texts there are expressions of ideas that I can see as…</p>
<p>Thanks for your comments Melina and Sophie. I almost wish we could get together and have a great discussion about all of this. It is such a good way to learn. To continue this conversation, may I add a few more of my thoughts in reponse to those you have offered.</p>
<p>Like you Melina I am not a Christian. I identify as an athiest. I'm happy for people to have their beliefs if that is of value to them and in many of the world's sacred texts there are expressions of ideas that I can see as being worthwhile. But religions, for me, also spawn a considerable amount of the bigotry and hatred we find in the world. So I have no creed to follow in life. Rather I try to understand and get along with people as much as I can. Take away all the trappings and I think we are all looking for pretty similar things - love, acceptance, security and some degree of happiness for ourselves and those we love.</p>
<p>But,of course, my attempts to understand and get on with people don't always work. I do, however, prefer to keep trying as much as I can because I have been surprised sometimes when it has.</p>
<p>As to picking my battles - well I guess I'm really just trying to be pragmatic there. When I posed the question about the significance of that group of fundamentalists, I guess in my mind it was in the context of whether my approach at trying to understand them and influence them would have an effect or real value to the cause of Equal Love. And at that level I don't think talking to them will have much influence. Sophie's point about the fundamentalists' impact on politicians is the more relevant issue in terms of the political battle being waged. We need to be giving the same politicians a similar but contradictory message that says we vote too and more people support our point of view than those of the fundamentalists. Then of course we need to try to make sure that that is actually true. That, as I am sure you understand, is simple political reality.</p>
<p>I have been lucky in the response I have had from family and friends when I came out in the middle of last year. And I haven't personally experienced much by way of direct homophobia. But I kept the secret of my sexuality for close to 50 years because I was afraid of what I might experience if I told the world "I am gay". And I don't want to live in a world where a young person today might be feeling he or she has to live with that secret like I did. So I've begun my own small attempts to do what I can. In support of IDAHO, I emailed the Prime Minister, our Premier and my two local politicians asking them to speak out in opposition to homophobia and to make every effort to help us in our journey to equality. This is a first for me. And I feel good about it. I don't hide my sexuality anymore though I confess to being a little more discreet in some company. So I guess homophobia still affects me but I'm trying to fight that feeling as much as I can.</p>
<p>I think I'm going to stop here because I feel I'm starting to ramble. Perhaps that's because your comments have got me thinking in all sorts of directions. And that pleases me because, as I've said, I want to learn. I'm new to the LGBTI community so I have so much to learn.</p>
<p> </p> Hi Andre, and welcome, and hi…tag:rainbowfamilytree.com,2011-05-18:3740708:Comment:64102011-05-18T03:41:44.257ZMelina MIchelle Magdalenahttp://rainbowfamilytree.com/profile/MelinaMIchelleMagdalena
<p>Hi Andre, and welcome, and hi Sonja and RTF as well...</p>
<p>I can relate to the sense of leave well enough alone, pick your battles and, to some extent, turn the other cheek... (although I do not identify as Christian myself).</p>
<p>For me there are two main issues that came up from the IDAHO event in Adelaide.</p>
<p>One was, my partner is Christian, and she told me that she feels terribly embarrassed by the actions of such fundamentalist Christians. We acknowledge that there are…</p>
<p>Hi Andre, and welcome, and hi Sonja and RTF as well...</p>
<p>I can relate to the sense of leave well enough alone, pick your battles and, to some extent, turn the other cheek... (although I do not identify as Christian myself).</p>
<p>For me there are two main issues that came up from the IDAHO event in Adelaide.</p>
<p>One was, my partner is Christian, and she told me that she feels terribly embarrassed by the actions of such fundamentalist Christians. We acknowledge that there are fundamentalists in other faiths as well, but she feels so personally impacted by this because she was raised with a homophobic fundamentalist attitude, and most of her family members (all the close ones and some of the extended members) have shifted over the last 2 decades towards a more accepting position.</p>
<p>I also read recently an article that posited the inaccuracy of placing Christians, and GLBTIQ people on opposite sides of the debate. There are so many people of faith who are also queer. I think that supporting queer people of faith is a valid reason to engage in these "debates".</p>
<p>However, it's dispiriting to realise how deaf the fundamentalists can be...</p>
<p>Secondly, I used to be quite dismissive of the whole "gay marriage debate" because I don't think I need to support of a government or religious institution to validate my relationship. However, the justice (or lack thereof) hit me, when I first attended an "Equal Love" rally. I thought - why is my love <em>not</em> equal? </p>
<p>On a social justice level I feel that the homophobia that permeates our culture and society is as damaging as the other social evils, such as sexism and racism. That is why I think confronting homopobia is as important. I was shocked and horrified that such extremists prepared to confront us in such a vicious way, but as I think you Sonja pointed out to us later when we met in the Central Market - what a great opportunity for us to see what is usually so invisible as to be almost disregarded.</p>
<p>None of us can really disregard homopobia in our own lives; as well insulated as we are, as well supported as we might be, such insulation and support has almost always come at the cost of certain relationships, and constructing our comfort zones is done advisably - with caution and risk. We usually have some scary, dodgy, confusing, maddening and saddening experiences after which we learn to censor, to hold back, to pick and choose what we conceal or are open about, in order to protect ourselves. This is internalised, so that it feels OK and normal.</p>
<p>As I said to the staff at my school on Monday, when I closed the staff meeting with "Happy IDAHO", what happened in Adelaide last week was nothing like what goes on in Uganda.</p>
<p>Back to work for me, I guess...</p>
<p>Melina</p> Hi Andre, great post! You won…tag:rainbowfamilytree.com,2011-05-17:3740708:Comment:67052011-05-17T23:02:09.032ZSophie Pointerhttp://rainbowfamilytree.com/profile/SophiePointer
<p>Hi Andre, great post! You wondered whether the Christian street preachers are really a problem for our community and I have to say I think they are. When my family and I spoke to Jamie Briggs MP as part of the call to 'chat about gay marriage with your local federal MP' one of the things he spoke about was the pressure he was recieving to oppose gay marriage from fundamentalist groups like the street preachers. It was obvious from that conversation that such groups are influencing…</p>
<p>Hi Andre, great post! You wondered whether the Christian street preachers are really a problem for our community and I have to say I think they are. When my family and I spoke to Jamie Briggs MP as part of the call to 'chat about gay marriage with your local federal MP' one of the things he spoke about was the pressure he was recieving to oppose gay marriage from fundamentalist groups like the street preachers. It was obvious from that conversation that such groups are influencing politicians...not necessarily to oppose gay marriage but to maintain the status quo and as a result not further inflame those sorts of groups.</p>