Since we made our digidoc a few years ago a lot has changed. Gary and Jayden are both 2 years older, and now we have a third child, Liam. As parents lots has changed in our relationship to one another, partly due to the passage of time, partly due to having a third child, and perhaps largely due to how other people perceive us. And i guess that is sadly the stuff that stays the same - we are as unintelligible to others now as we were 2 years ago, perhaps even more so. Other gay men struggle to get how two men could choose to parent 3 children together after separating. Some gay men (including in the Castro in San Fransisco) struggle to even comprehend that we are parents (and not two brothers, or uncles, or mannies). But just like in the digidoc, we continue to do our thing regardless. I think now perhaps i am less invested in the idea of the utopian community where we would actually be accepted for the family we are, and more focused on being
the family we are - we are always validating ourselves as family and that is perhaps the most important thing.